Has anyone waited for someone to get over their ex?
I’m 35 and I know what I want.. a family, a beautiful intelligent woman to compliment me..I live life to the fullest and I want someone to share it with now. I’ve never been married nor do I have kids. I’m healthy, young, happy and very ready for a relationship.
I gave the online dating thing a try, don’t have the girl and I’m going crazy thinking about her. She lives in Europe and I live in the states (crazy I know). We figured why not? We both live life to the fullest and we saw this as an adventure, but we were developing feelings. She was actually looking for meaningless sex in her area on the dating site. I winked at her (not knowing she did not want a relationship from her profile). She is breathtaking. She thought I was asking too many questions at first, which I was trying to get to know her, but she was drawn to me so she let me in. She opened herself up to me and we did the normal thing and got to know each other for three months before sex. She called me because I wanted to talk. Then she skyped because I asked. She said as soon as she saw me on skype she was paralyzed in a good way. She said no one had taken her breath away like I did.
We were both open and honest from the beginning and I said I wanted a relationship someday and I’d be willing to move with my job. She said she is not over her ex yet but she said she likes me and does not want to mess this up. She suggested that we wait a while and stop talking until her heart is at a good place. She stopped talking to me for a week and could not resist so she called me. Her and her ex were together for 5 years and she’d only been out of the relationship for 5 months. The reason she broke up with her ex is because she said the passion has been gone for a while now. Her ex flew in (from another country) to live with her until they finalize their partnership in the business and the ex needed her because of a death in the family. She allowed the ex to live there because she felt bad for breaking up. She said the ex is an amazing person and really did nothing wrong. The ex moved for her from another country so a lot of things still need to be talked about still. I told her I would not meet her until she has the ex out of the house. Needless to say the connection got stronger.
Long story short we’ve been talking casually online (skype, email, phone, text, etc) for 3 months until we noticed the connection got stronger and we both wanted to meet. She offered to fly to the states to meet me and I declined because I said what if we have a HUGE connection and then you still have not told your ex about me, etc…. She told me no one has had this affect on her and she made effort to leave three business in Europe to see me. I still refused. It really upset her that I did not want to meet, but it made no sense to come out here. I’m a softy and I knew I would be hurt if she stayed with the ex after she met me.
She said, she could see herself falling for someone like me and she has feelings for me, BUT she said her heart is NOT free yet. She felt so upset that I did not want to meet her. It was a buzz kill. I finally said to her, just come and we will talk about it while you are here.
She arrived at the airport and man was I nervous. We both were so nervous, we can’t remember if we kissed at the airport or not. But when we got to the hotel, we embraced each other and it felt better. Honestly, we both agreed those were the best dates we’d ever been on. We turned her visit into a vacation of a lifetime. Take my word.
She deleted her meaningless dating online account while she was visiting me, she opened up about personal things to me, she even was intimate with me in ways she holds dear.
You’d think we were meant to be together, a story for Oprah, etc… Sadly, after I left her at the airport she opened up to me on the phone (honesty is HUGE to me) and said that there were things her and I did that reminded her of her ex, she wonders if I would be replacing her ex, she got stressed saying she did not want to be responsible for another person leaving their country for her…. Right now I decided to tell her that I hope something works out, but I am not going to be angry. I will keep my options open, but I really want to visit her so I can see her culture and see how much more I care for when I visit her. My feelings have grown for her since she’s been here. Everything reminds me of her. She is upset and she said her heart ackes and she is sad. She stays busy. She thought she would be able to make a decison after she met me, but all she knows is that she could C herself in a relationshp w/ me but she’s not ready 2 give me her all.
I’ve been keeping in touch; I call mostly. She texts me xx & kind words. I’ve flirted like we use 2 do, & she loves it. But she’s sincere w/ her texts. She won’t skype. I understand she is busy, which is Y she can’t talk as much. She does not want to close t
I wouldn’t wait for someones mercy. It can take longer than you think for her to get over but also she might not even want to eventually. You will only hurt and blame yourself when it doesn’t work out for you like you wanted. She should make up her mind and she should do it fast if she cares for you. Don’t ruin your life waiting for somebody you may or may not have. You will need to sacrify a lot: her ex might be still a part of her life, she lives in a different culture, far from you and also there are many other things you still don’t know about her.
Well, the best advise would be just follow your hurt but also don’t let anybody hurt you.
It’s tough that she wants to go through that, and yes I have waited and it eventually didn’t work out. However you are older so it may work out, but in other cases girls who are coming out of a long relationship is hard to get over.,
My question:
Move on and find someone here where you live. You doing nothing but creating a whole lot of pain for yourself. BTW, you really didn’t make a long story short. You just explained why, in a long note, that you are basically torturing yourself over someone you are not going to have.
LDR? Bad odds…But True Love will make a way with the longest of long shots, follow your heart…
i would move on lifes too short
can you answer mine
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Agu8cP4r6jPWhQIzQWjUkQggBgx.;_ylv=3?qid=20110716122249AAe8MPh
I know it’s hard, but she needs to make a choice instead of leaving you without knowing if you will have a relationship. You need to tell her you need an answer and if she says she needs time then you should talk to her about how long. You don’t want this to go on forever.